


Ranting

by lrhaboggle



Category: Wicked - All Media Types
Genre: And I think he ships Gelphie, Chistery appreciation, Elphaba misses Glinda, Elphaba rants a lot, Elphaba talks about Glinda too much (all the time), Gelphie, Gelphie only implied, He's actually awesome, and she rants to Chistery, but it's still real, it's always real, musical or book, ranting, so he hers her talk all the time about Glinda, so he knows dey gay, we need more Chistery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 19:17:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16603955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lrhaboggle/pseuds/lrhaboggle
Summary: To Chistery, Elphaba is a very confusing creature, happy one moment, angry the next, sad one moment, serene the next, but if there was one trend he did pick up on, it was that most of the things surrounding Elphaba's more passionate moods (good or bad) was always the same thing, a girl by the name of "Glinda".





	Ranting

Chistery wasn't sure about his feelings for his mistress, Elphaba Thropp. It was clear that she was a good person, but she was just so angry all the time! It kind of scared him, when it didn't just outright befuddle or even annoy him. One minute, she practically be dancing the halls of their massive castle, singing about triumph and freedom, but then the next, she'd be locked away in her room, ranting bitterly to herself and scorning the world from her tower. Was this how all humans acted? He didn't think so, but because Elphaba was the only one he knew, he supposed it didn't matter either way. He was just a companion, there to listen to her joys and sorrows both, even if there was never much he could ever really add to these one-sided conversations. One topic in particular, however, seemed to come up more than all others. It was about a girl, one Elphaba had been friends with (or perhaps more than just that) before she moved here to this castle. The girl's name was Glinda, and although she was entirely a mystery to Chistery, Elphaba spoke about her quite frequently. Like now, for example.

"I had a dream about Glinda last night again!" Elphaba snapped at him that morning as they went down to one of the lower levels of the castle for breakfast. Chistery could only tip his head in confusion. Although Glinda might've been a mystery to him, he at least knew that Elphaba loved her, so why did Elphaba sound so mad about this dream? He hooted once and Elphaba seemed to understand. Or perhaps she was just trying to get her feelings out and would've continued regardless of whether or not Chistery had said (or rather, "hooted") anything at all.

"She asked me if she could join me here at the castle!" Elphaba went on. Chistery was still confused as to why this was bad. "As if she had to ask! The little idiot knows I'd never refuse her! So why did she ask? Why did she leave again? Why is she tormenting me!?" Elphaba continued her ranting and Chistery finally understood. Elphaba was not mad at Glinda, rather, the dream she'd had because it had been another one she knew would never come true, and that was what hurt her most of all. Chistery's confused but devoted heart went out to the green witch at that moment.

Later on that day, Elphaba was still roaming Kiamo Ko, but her rage had been replaced by misery. Not wanting to interrupt her meditation, Chistery hid in the shadows and watched her pass by, head hanging impossibly low.

"Oh Glinda, my sweet, I miss you so much. Is it too much to ask to see you again? Even if only for a moment?" Elphaba asked miserably. She paused and pulled something from a secret pocket in her black robe. It was a pink flower hair clip. "Does pink still go good with green?" she asked with a dry smile as she held the clip to her hair. Then, a true smile crossed her face, but it vanished in a flash. The sullen, bitter, angry frown that wasn't quite a scowl but still definitely very wounded returned to her face and she put the clip back into her robe, still walking mindlessly down the long, dark, winding halls of her castle. Chistery could hear her chanting Glinda's name endlessly, like it would somehow act as a summoning spell for her. Of course, it didn't work, not that either he or Elphaba had expected it to.

The next day, Chistery gave his mistress a newspaper that he'd stolen when he had snuck out the previous night while she was asleep. He knew she liked news, so he brought her the paper in order to cheer her up and it actually seemed to work for a moment.

"News? Oh, thank you Chistery!" Elphaba said with a genuine graciousness as she took the folded paper from Chistery's wrinkly paw. Chistery hooted proudly as Elphaba flicked it open, but unfortunately, her pleased smile turned into a look of abject horror the moment she read the headline.

"What?! Emerald City battles?! Oh my Oz, Glinda's stuck in the crossfire!" Elphaba stood up at once, threw the paper away violently and began to pace fretfully. "That blond brained brat! She'll be dead by dusk! I have to save her! But how? If I fly in, it'll only make things worse! But I can't just do nothing!" Elphaba began ranting again as Chistery slunk away sadly, his plan hadn't worked out as well as hoped.

The next day, however, Chistery flew to the Emerald City like he had the night before. He had gone in to see if the battle was over and if Glinda really was still alive. Sure enough, she was. Badly shaken, but entirely unharmed. He smiled at this before slipping away back home, stealing another freshly-printed paper right off the mill before he headed back west. Once he arrived again in Kiamo Ko, he scuttled off to find his mistress. She was, once more, locked in her private tower, ranting bitterly about Glinda and all the danger she was in. Chistery knocked gingerly on the door and, as he expected, he received a less-than-warm welcome.

"What is it?!" she screamed through the wood panels. He was about to knock again when the door was thrown open and his mistress's furious green face appeared. He could see it in her face that she had not slept a wink since yesterday morning when she first read the news about the battles. He felt bad and quickly shoved this new newspaper into her hands before flying off quickly. A moment later, he heard her cry out again and couldn't fight the urge to go back.

"Glinda! The blond brained brat! She lived!" Elphaba cried out again and Chistery looked at her warily. She didn't seem angry, but she didn't seem happy either, and Chistery was no good at reading people. He, too, knew that Glinda was ok, but he had smiled in relief when he found this out. Why was Elphaba still shouting and looking almost angry? He hooted up at her but she misinterpreted his question and handed him the newspaper.

"It says here that Glinda, under disguise, slid from the palace and hid in a nearby cornfield until the fights were over and she was seen returning to the palace last evening!" Elphaba read out, pointing to each word as she read it to Chistery, who continued to hold the paper open for both of them. So Glinda was alive and well and Elphaba knew it, so why was she not celebrating? Why was she still ranting?

"Ga-lin-a safe?" Chistery stuttered, trying to bring his mistress back from whatever dark place she was lost in in her mind. Elphaba looked down at him in complete and utter surprise as though she'd forgotten he was even there even though it was he she had been reading to just seconds ago.

"Yes, she is, thank Oz," Elphaba replied, then she slumped over slightly, that relieved smile finally, finally flickering across her green face. Chistery felt something twinge in his chest as he watched Elphaba wilt like that. He didn't quite get what such a feeling meant, but what he did get was that it bothered him greatly to see Elphaba stooping over with such worry. She was far too young to look so world-weary!

Before Chistery could say more, however, Elphaba seemed to have remembered the first thing that he'd said and she smiled a little, a sad, bittersweet smile with more genuine happiness that he'd ever seen upon her face before. But it was still laced with such pain and grief.

"But by the way, for future reference, it's just 'Glinda'. The 'Ga' is silent," she told her flying monkey, and she even laughed a little as she said this. But since Chistery did not understand this inside joke, he only nodded solemnly, totally taking her at his word and vowing to get it right some day so that he could say it correctly and make Elphaba really smile...

Years later, Elphaba had been killed and Chistery had seen it happen himself. He'd been hidden in the castle rafters as the strange farm girl from somewhere over the rainbow had killed Elphaba by splashing her with a bucket of water. The water had melted her clean away, leaving not even a body behind. Seeing Elphaba so completely dead, and dead for good, hurt his little monkey heart beyond words, but before he could attend to his own grief, he knew that there was someone out there right now who was in far more pain than he was in. Glinda. Chistery had seen her practically fly into the castle in a hurry, trying to warn Elphaba to escape while she still could, but of course, Elphaba was stubborn and had not left her castle, despite her impending demise. Chistery had remembered turning his back when the two witches said their farewells, knowing it was a very intimate moment, but he didn't recall seeing Glinda leave the castle again, so perhaps she was still hidden inside as well, having done the same thing he had and witnessed Elphaba's horrible demise from a hiding spot. The thought of Glinda having to go through that hurt his heart even more and he quickly took flight from his rafters in search of her.

Sure enough, he found her, weeping right over the place where Elphaba had died, clutching the only two things Elphaba had left behind: her black cloak and black hat.

"Oh! Elphie!" Glinda sobbed into the dark cloth and Chistery watched her with a sad expression. He wanted to comfort her, but he needed an excuse to approach her first... Oh wait! He had the perfect thing for it!

Chistery only left that area of the castle for a few minutes, flying back to Elphaba's secret tower and grabbing the one other thing that she had kept so dearly within her possession. It was a little green bottle that had once belonged to her mother. Cradling that green glass in his soft paws, Chistery then returned to the heart of the castle where Glinda was still sobbing her heart out. He approached her tentatively.

"Miss... Miss... Glinda? he asked nervously as he approached, he'd practiced her name so hard. Glinda heard him speak and turned around.

"Chistery?" she asked through her tears. Chistery was surprised to hear that she knew his name, but he figured that Elphaba must've told her and he felt another surge of gratitude for his mistress.

Chistery then reached his paw out and gave Glinda that little green bottle. The same one Elphaba had slept with under her pillow back at Shiz. Glinda recognized it at once and her face grew sad and lost in memory. She took the bottle gratefully, but her blue eyes were still hazy with grief. She inspected the little trinket closely and then, like the flip of a switch, all of that hazy grief vanished from her eyes and they suddenly became terrifyingly sharp and focused. She continued to glare down in realization at that little green bottle, but before Chistery could even begin to formulate his question of what was wrong, Glinda had practically hopped up to her feet with a determined look on her tear-stained face.

"I'll be back," was all she said before she went running out of the castle again, leaving the cloak and hat behind, but taking the bottle with her. Chistery didn't understand what had made Glinda leave so soon, but since it was too late to call her back, he could only be content with hoping that she would make good on her promise to return one day...

A week later, Chistery and the other flying monkeys had taken over Kiamo Ko properly and Chistery himself had been busily scanning the grounds while flying over them when he met another airborne individual. This time, it was a beautiful young woman in... a bubble? Sweet Oz, did humans have a strange way of traveling! Elphaba had a broom, and Glinda had a bubble. Who'd have thunk? Chistery waved to her and she, recognizing him at once, waved back, gesturing for them both to land right in Kiamo Ko's large, grassy courtyard.

What followed was something like a reunion between old friends even though the two had only met that one time for all of 38 seconds. Glinda busily told Chistery about all she'd managed to do in that one week, including banishing the Wizard, arresting Madam Morrible and taking over Oz for herself as its new queen. Chistery applauded it all, knowing that his mistress would've been proud.

"I see you've been making this place you own," Glinda remarked at last, finally turning the conversation away from herself. She nodded at the castle and all the other flying monkeys that swarmed it. Chistery nodded in reply.

For a moment, the two only observed the big, stony castle in silence, but then, Glinda spoke again.

"Did you ever think that maybe you'd want to come live in the Emerald City Palace with me?" she asked, but Chistery shook his head at once. It was nothing personal, he just preferred Kiamo Ko. Glinda understood this and nodded. "Well, never mind that then. I guess I must be off, now what with being queen of Oz and all," she said as she turned to go. Before she got too far, she turned back one last time as though she remembered something that she had forgotten to ask about earlier.

"How did you know my name, Chistery?" Glinda asked. "When you first came to comfort me? How did you know it?" but that look in her eyes told him that she already had deduced the answer, she just wanted to hear him confirm it.

"She...spoke...bout...you," Chistery replied, granting her silent wish.

"She did? Well, I'm honored," Glinda said with a knowing smile. "I'm proud to call her my friend," she added, and Chistery nodded in agreement.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I read so much into Wicked that I realize that the only way for Chistery to have known Glinda's name well enough to speak it to her while she was mourning for Elphaba would be if Elphaba, herself, had told it to Chistery, and multiples times as well! So what do we get? An "Elphaba misses Glinda and complains to Chistery about it" because you can't tell me that Elphaba doesn't spend all her free time missing her bubbly blond girlfriend, right? Musical canon.


End file.
